Absolute support, extensive awareness, enlightenment and advocate for those living with Vitiligo, for their Rights and well-being
Active Vitiligo Support in Africa

Self- Love and Self-Acceptance a myth? (II)


The supposed myth

People say lay down yourself and love others more..

What can be wrong in preparing yourself to give and receive that which we most desire and which is the greatest, LOVE? Is it possible to offer someone mango when you do not have mango? Is it possible that you enter Maths exam hall and decide to write English on your answer script and pass the exams? How can one be happy with someone who is not meeting his/her desire and yet wants him/her to stay?

In counseling with persons with Vitiligo, the greatest desire of women has been to find love and I have always asked, is it possible to find love and love as you are body mind and spirit without being filled with love yourself? I usually get an answer, I know getting someone who loves me will change things and I usually ask someone who will love you and expect you to love him back. Its true that there are rare men that will find one attractive even in that situation and decides to help build her up, how many of them are out there and how many have you met? A lady told me that she cannot be happy and cannot be open to a relationship till she repigments fully and I asked her

  • Do you know how long that will take?
  • Do you know if you have that number of years to live?
  • Does your happiness now depends on a man

She told me that she will be alive for it to happen, but cannot just think of exposing her hand to anyone now. For me, I cannot deny myself the happiness, I know it is not easy to get there, but with the will to change, step by step efforts and the mirror game I discussed below, we will be getting into it. Don't get me wrong, Love is a beautiful thing which everyone really needs to experience genuinely in their lifetime. My question is, is it about the opposite sex? I have been privileged to talk also with the married who would usually tell me my spouse has been very supportive, but I just can't handle the psychological aspects especially when dealing with the public.

This goes to show that the opposite sex is actually not the solution, but self. What about who we really are and what we want to achieve in life? My findings and experience, when you find that self-love, its beautiful, you glow with so much love for everyone around you, you judge less who is staring and who is not staring, you don't remember the comments, you are open to love and to change and everything is beautiful. This self-love can only be effective when you have accepted yourself wholly.

  • It's important that we learn to accept what we cannot change, work on the ones we can improve ourselves. God has raised so many creative and innovative minds who has been able to put into writing and visuals certain guide for a great life, explore them while you learn from your own experiences too
  • We should be practical and creative enough to know that accepting and loving ourselves is no sin, it's the beginning of the change we desire and help we need,
  • Why become reluctant to yourself because your religion make you believe so, remember it's the understanding of your leader there and God never says we should trash our own understanding and discernment for one leader. Ehp 5:29 says for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it...
  • Prayer is the greatest, we should pray and follow-up with actions. Can prayer choose the right clothes for that meeting for you? We pray for His guide and live up in faith.
  • It's important that we know that even persons we see as normal are hurting also in one way or the other, they also get rejected in different areas
  • It's important to identify that which is unique about us and celebrate it, we must not wait for people to celebrate us, atimes It may never come till we begin it ourselves
  • Feed your body healthily, don't just feed it anything, take your time and show some love to yourself. When you are in great health, you function well; health is your right and entitlement. It starts with you
  • Forgive and set yourself free
  • The mirror game really helps and it has become part of me in so many ways, will really encourage you to embrace it..
    1. Tell the beautiful lady/man you see in the mirror how much you love and appreciate him/her
    2. Discuss with him/her your plans and usually he/she will reason with you
    3. Let him/her know how much you would want to take care of it but trying to your own capacity, believe me he/she usually understands and play along

When you Accept and Love yourself and live it, the problem is more than 50% solved, it's a simple life, let's stop making it complicated. Believe in your dreams, confess and affirm what you believe and what you want! Love and accept yourself wholly so you can live better and Love all around you and greatly Love that special person with great and unadulterated Love!

Love is a beautiful thing, it begins with you!

Blog Date: 
February 22, 2012